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Woman Launches Raw Meat Assault on Police Station, Claims God told her to “Feed the Pigs”

Published: December 27, 2014
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Framingham, MA– Lindsay McNamara of Ashland, Massachusetts, is being charged with disorderly conduct and malicious destruction of property after bringing a Dunkin Donuts box filled with raw bacon and sausage to the Framingham Police Department to “feed the pigs” on Friday morning.

“She walked into the lobby and was carrying a Dunkin’ Donuts box, walked up to the window, when the officer greeted her asked if he could help here she said ‘I’m here to feed the pigs,'” Framingham police Lt. Harry Wareham told WCVB.

The 24 year old woman then began to throw the raw pork products at an officer and smear the grease on the window, stating that god told her to do it.

The woman then chose to represent herself in court, making the extremely valid point that she didn’t actually destroy property, she just smeared some grease.

“I mean, I didn’t really destruct property,” she said. “I just smeared some grease.”

The judge then told her she didn’t need to confess anything, and McNamara just shrugged and said, “Oh”, WCVB reports.

It’s unclear why she wanted to feed the bacon to the cops, because if a pig is a cop, then it seems she was encouraging cannibalism.  Perhaps some carrots and apples would have been a better choice, especially considering law enforcement is the most overweight profession, according to a new study by The American Journal of Preventative Medicine.

While this act of civil disobedience was pretty funny, up there with the man who paid his ticket in 137 origami pigs made from dollar bills inside a Dunkin Donuts box- the judge was not as amused and has ordered a mental evaluation before her arraignment.

McNamara has been released into her parents custody until the postponed arraignment in February.

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